Awkward Motherhood: Diapers everywhere!

This morning I woke up to a clean stash of diapers! ^_^ Joy! I washed diapers last night and threw them in the dryer before bed, so when I woke up today, I had a pile of clean diapers spread out on the living room floor! I can say without any sarcasm that this was a great start to my day.

I normally hate doing laundry, but for some reason diaper laundry is one of the parenting chores I cherish. Maybe it's just because you don't have to worry about diapers getting wrinkled, but I think there might be something else to it. There's something about drawers filled with clean diapers that makes me feel secure.

I imagine surrounding myself in cottony riches—stacks of diapers everywhere—like Scrooge McDuck did with his gold.

I know it's silly, but I love knowing that I have more than enough diapers to make it through the day. I guess that says more about my issues with trusting in God's provision than about the value of reusable diapers.

I voluntarily admit that this is a difficult area for me. I mean, one of the major reasons I went back to work after Lydia was born was because I didn't want to test God's provision. I believe God will take care of us, but. . . I like having a little wiggle room in the budget. This has always been a weakness of mine, but having a child to take care of only exacerbates this problem.

This is definitely an aspect of my character I should work on, but for now, I've got my clean piles of diapers all over the house and I'm happy.

Grateful For: My Smart Phone

I'll admit I'm a little bit of an addict. My phone has become something of an appendage.

I'm going to try not to get all fanboy here, so I'm not even going to mention the model, but here's a picture of it:

I remember when Peter first asked me if I wanted a smart phone in 2007. I thought the idea was crazy! I just wanted a thin flip phone—not a smart phone. What would I use it for? I just used my phone for making calls, taking a few pictures, and playing Tetris. The only reason I agreed to let him give me one for Christmas was that I discovered it was thinner than the Razor.

Holy cow! How naive I was! I had no idea how much it would change my life. First of all, my phone is my primary computer. My phone is the only calendar I use, my only address book, and my only iPod. I read the news on my phone, I read the Bible on my phone, I take pictures and video on my phone, and I view my friend's pics on my phone. I use my phone when I'm wandering around downtown and need to remember how to get to my car. I even use my phone when I'm checking on my daughter in the middle of the night (it's my flashlight).

And I realize this is nothing special; we all use our phones like this now. But I'm amused when I think back four years to how useless I assumed a smart phone would be. And I'm grateful that I had the chance to change my mind.

Resolved: To become hip. . . Resolution: FAILED

I only had one resolution this year. It was a fairly small one, but still I've failed so far.

My resolution was to get hip. Specifically regarding popular music. I've never been caught up on the current music scene. (Are these even the right phrases to use? Somehow I sound like I'm 68.) When I was a kid, my parents were very protective of the cultural influences they allowed into our home, so most current secular music was not allowed. Current Christian music was allowed, but growing up in Weimar, there were no radio stations nearby that played this music, and in the days before iTunes recommendations, it was hard to stay current while so isolated.

In my early twenties, I was of course free to listen to whatever I wanted but had no room in my very responsible budget for music, and being a rule follower, I wasn't about to use Napster. By the time I was in a position to indulge in music purchases, I felt so out of the loop that it seemed pointless to start following bands and artists at that point.

I felt too old. If I tried to start following bands and musicians now, I'd just be a poser, right? *shudder*

Sure,I have a few songs I've taken from Peter's library, but I haven't purchased a song or album in several years. My iPhone is mostly full of podcasts where people sit around discussing technology, parenting, or religion. It was actually one of these podcasts that inspired me to this year's resolution. I started listening to the Relevant Magazine podcast. In this particular podcast, people sat around and discussed music. I have to admit, as they discussed new bands I'd never heard of and how they compared to old bands I'd never heard of, I became quite jealous.

Obviously this is their job—to know music inside and out—but they're talking for the benefit of their subscribers, which means that someone else out there understands and, even more importantly, cares about these discussions...I want to be that person! For once in my life, I want to be plugged in. I want to be hip. So this year I had one resolution: to be exposed to, pay attention to, purchase, and ultimately listen to good, modern music. Wanna know how many times I've so much as turned on my radio all year? Zero.

What can I say? I'd much rather listen to people talking about music than actually listen to music. I'm going to continue trying to broaden my horizons, but I'm done trying to deny who I really am. I'm never going to be a hipster, but if I try, maybe I can be a nerd with a little good music on her phone.