Grateful For: My new schedule

Here's an equation: the challenges of being a new mom + ((challenges of starting a new job * a job in a new field) - Any seniority earned in my last field in the eight years since college) = LORD, beer me strength.

I've been working weekends and the closing shift for the last four months. I think I literally had the worst schedule possible at my company; I'm not sure that this schedule is usually even given out since I've never actually met anyone I shared it with. I often wondered who I'd pissed off to get this assignment. It was pretty awful, but it was temporary. This week I started my new schedule.

My new schedule is Sundays and Mondays off, working 8-5. I'm very happy about it. My previous schedule had me out of sync with the rhythm of the rest of the world. The first day of my work week was Friday, so I shared none of the communal markers of a week (I.e., Sunday=church, Friday=weekend). Subsequently, I could never remember what day it was. People would tell me something was happening on Tuesday and I actually expected it to happen on Saturday. Also, the pattern of my day was reversed. I did my housework, exercise, and projects in the morning before going to work, started work already exhausted, and after work came home only to quickly eat something and crawl into bed. During my week there was no running errands and no meeting friends, and since my husband worked during my "weekend," there was almost no dating.

I'm so grateful to be able to get off work while the sun is still out, go to church with my family on Sunday, and share two days off with my husband. It may only be temporary, but I'm savoring every day.

Grateful For: A clean ice cream scoop

What I'm grateful for this week is a small thing, but significant, and once again, it involves Peter. My husband always washes the ice cream scoop after he uses it.

Peter eats dessert right after dinner like a normal person. I usually eat dessert an hour or so later, but Peter always washes and dries the scoop so it's there waiting when I'm ready for ice cream. I've never asked him to do this; he just does. It's one of those little things that tells me he's thinking about me and cares.

Grateful For: The year I was 30

I turned 30 a year ago. If you're good at math, you can figure out how old I'm turning today. Turning 30 was exciting, but this birthday is slightly…anti-climactic. It's a lot more fun turning 30 than just being in your thirties. But I'm grateful for this last year with all it's ups and downs

February. I started the year with the most amazing party ever! My friend Jen arranged the most beautiful event—dinner followed by a night-time garden party at her house. My husband booked a band and hired them to write a song about me! The police came! Green came! My sister got tipsy! It was great!

March. We found out that the little Peanut Butler I'd been carrying was a girl and decided to name her Lydia. Then we moved into our new, suburban house. It was huge and empty and inspiring. I had dreams of how I would decorate it. I had dreams of our Lydia as a teenager running up and down the stairs with her friends. I also had the uneasy feeling that life was too good to be true and mentioned that to Peter as we fell asleep on the last day of the month.

April. On the first day if the new month—April Fool's Day—I was laid off of work. Nothing really more to say about that. I wasn't incredibly happy at UT, but I liked what I did and wasn't ready to stop doing it yet.

May. I got offered a contract job and then had the offer revoked when the employer realized just how pregnant I was. I was disappointed, but too tired to fight it.

June. A former co-worker gave me a contact that led to a job doing freelance editing from home. Easily my favorite job ever. Perfect for that last, miserable stretch of my pregnancy.

Peter and I travelled to Corpus Christi for a babymoon that our closest family and friends had arranged for us. It remains a favorite memory of all time.

July. I had a fight with a very close friend. That's all I remember about July.

August. My daughter was born! I became a mommy. I felt like I was reborn as a new person. A person who can push a baby out of her, a person who considers sleep optional, a person who loves abundantly without any need for love returned.

September. Peter and I celebrated our second anniversary. He took me hiking in Bastrop State Park; it was exactly what I wanted.

October. I started working as a contract employee at Apple. It's not easy work, but I enjoy the challenge and love working near Peter.

November-December. I'm writing off the whole holiday season. It was just…ugh. The house did look pretty sweet, though.

January. Peter and I went out on THREE dates! Not just dates, but amazing dates. We went dancing, we saw a band, and we ate a very fancy pizza at a super classy bar on 6th street.

February. So grateful for my valentines—the special ladies who haven't forgotten me as I became a mom and have forgiven me as I totally flaked on them: Jennifer, Heather, Cindy, Jen, Mom, and Sonnet.

To everyone who has gone through this year with me, thank you.

Grateful For: My Smart Phone

I'll admit I'm a little bit of an addict. My phone has become something of an appendage.

I'm going to try not to get all fanboy here, so I'm not even going to mention the model, but here's a picture of it:

I remember when Peter first asked me if I wanted a smart phone in 2007. I thought the idea was crazy! I just wanted a thin flip phone—not a smart phone. What would I use it for? I just used my phone for making calls, taking a few pictures, and playing Tetris. The only reason I agreed to let him give me one for Christmas was that I discovered it was thinner than the Razor.

Holy cow! How naive I was! I had no idea how much it would change my life. First of all, my phone is my primary computer. My phone is the only calendar I use, my only address book, and my only iPod. I read the news on my phone, I read the Bible on my phone, I take pictures and video on my phone, and I view my friend's pics on my phone. I use my phone when I'm wandering around downtown and need to remember how to get to my car. I even use my phone when I'm checking on my daughter in the middle of the night (it's my flashlight).

And I realize this is nothing special; we all use our phones like this now. But I'm amused when I think back four years to how useless I assumed a smart phone would be. And I'm grateful that I had the chance to change my mind.

Going dancing with my husband.

I love dancing! I'm terrible at dancing, but I love it. I didn't grow up dancing and didn't do much of it before I met Peter. Peter wasn't a big dancer before me either.

Like most guys, Peter could go a lifetime without dancing. He never sits up and thinks, I really want to dance today. But as long as we've been together, he's always taken me dancing.

I appreciate that. I love when he lets go of his perfectionism and enjoys the moment. I love holding him as we stumble around the dance floor.

I'm thankful for dancing with my husband.

Awkward Gratitude

Sometimes saying thanks is easy.

Thanks for holding my drink while I tie my shoe; thanks for changing the baby's diaper while I'm in the shower; thanks for depositing the check in the bank.

Sometimes thanks are more awkward.

Thanks for driving my lunch across town when I left it at home; thanks for cleaning the bed when I was sick and threw up on it; thanks for fighting the bank to get them to reverse a fee I didn't notice but should have.

That's the kind of gratitude that costs you; it requires you to admit you actually needed someone—they gave you something you couldn't get on your own. Those are the times when you know you owe someone and you know you probably won't be able to pay them back sufficiently.

All you can hope to do is tell them that you appreciate what they did.

I'm not grateful enough. I need to express thankfulness when it's easy and when it's hard. So here's a few easy things I'm grateful for to start off with.

- Cheap drinks—$1 drinks from McDonalds & Sonic Happy Hour
- Friends who hang out with me even though I have a kid in tow
- Digital cameras—take as many pics as you want; delete the awful ones before anyone sees them

More tomorrow.